Healing

26th Nov. 2017  11:55PM I have not studied for quite some days now. I am not feeling like studying. I want to be left alone right now. i dont want all these people around me. I have been drinking for last 3 days. last night we went to party to Indore. All we could do was to watch girls and nothing more. tried to go inside a pub but could not manage. This all is an escape. I have not stopped loving her. Although the condition has improved. What I could learn from all my time with her and without her was that she does not deserve my love. I dont want to be with her yet I love her. I have started hating her (trying). Its certainly not lust. All i want is to be in her company. but she cant help being a bitch. She cant help but ill treat me. This blog i think can help me in venting out my anger and frustration. I feel empty since the time she has left. i need to build myself up the way i did before her.  i was something at that time. more self respect and better person....